"You can't depend on anyone but yourself."
"Don't rely on anyone."
"You don't need anything from anybody."
These phrases are often touted out as rules to live by but they unconsciously perpetuate a harmful idea that one should be and can be completely independent in this life without any assistance, love or care from another person. These same destructive ideas inundate the music we listen to, social media outlets we engage in and visual media that we watch and value as entertainment. Although it's understood that people should be able to do for themselves as individuals, when you continuously independence yourself out of happiness, a relationship, a friendship, you're only cheating yourself out of the joy life has to offer. We can love without fear, trust without insecurity and rely on one another without doubt. However, today's society perceives need as a vulnerability or weakness that almost always ends in regret. We rather "fall back" and cut someone off as opposed to communicating how their inactions may have hurt us because we don't want to give them the satisfaction of knowing that we trusted them. Society reinforces this thought to hurt others before they have a chance to hurt us. There is a peculiar glorification of being as independent and removed as physically and emotionally possible from those around you. Unbeknownst to those who choose to follow this school of thought, love, friendship, belonging are all physiological needs that must be met to some degree. We are naturally bound to one another by humanity yet insist on living separately in an effort to "do you". The culture of success and happiness has seemingly shifted from having a strong support system of people in your corner to having a small, tight-knit circle consisting of a few "day ones". The truth of the matter is there is nothing weak or naive about trusting people when you need to rely on them most. Faith in humanity should outweigh the dangerous beliefs that drive mainstream radio and social media. Don't allow the hurt you experience in life to make you cold and bitter instead let it make you bold and better. Ultimately, behind every successful person is a loving and supporting family, friend, significant other, spouse. May we never get so far ahead of ourselves that we forget this truth.
"Need is not weak. Need is need."
- Will Smith, Concussion (2015)